How to avoid the Male Stereotypes
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~~~Physical Appearance~~~
Muscles - You do not need Rambo style muscles to be masculine, no matter what anyone says. Plenty of girls like all kinds of body types, and sometimes "Rambo" is a turn-off.
Exercise properly to get or maintain a healthy and fit appearance.
Never bulk up for someone else, especially not a current or potential lover. It's your body, you should change it only to make you happy.
Weight - Eat properly. Men can eat more healthy foods and it does not take away from your manliness.
If you are eating mostly processed foods, eat fresher things instead. Your diet affects all areas of your life, the healthier a man is, the higher his stamina and better his performance mentally and physically. It doesn't hurt in the bedroom, either.
1 Keeping yourself groomed is an every-day thing.
2 This doesn't mean you need to spend long amounts of time in front of a mirror, possibly annoying any feminine people who share your bathroom, but spend some time on it each day.
3 Shower every day, especially after physical exertion where you sweat.
4 Do not wait too long after exertion to shower, or else the salt in your sweat dries onto clothes and your body, leaving both dirty and smelly.
5 Use a good antiperspirant/deodorant.
6 You can spray/splash-on cologne to smell good.
7 Don't put on too much cologne if you do. Things like Axe and Tag are good examples of this. Nobody likes to hold their breath around you becouse you wear too much calogne. No one ever likes strong calogne; stay with a medium to weak calogne.
8 Hair need not be model-perfect, just clean and neat looking. The style isn't very important, as long as you are happy with it.
9 Take care of scalp problems like dandruff as soon as you notice a problem.
10 Keep your teeth clean by brushing at least twice a day, and floss at least once. Don't just brush what you see when you smile- Brush all sides of your teeth, paying careful attention to the gum line.
11 Also brush the roof of your mouth and tongue.
12 Keep your clothes clean. Stains can be removed usually by rubbing a little laundry detergent on it before throwing it in with the rest.
13 Don't wear dirty clothes over and over again because they pass "the smell test"- you may not smell them because you are used to the smell, others can and will.
14 Holes, rips, tears, permanent stains, bleach stains, etc- Unless your clothes came that way, throw them out when they become too bad, or only wear around the house. We all have that one tattered, but really comfy shirt or jeans and that's okay, but don't wear it for a night on the town. You don't want to look like a bum.
15 Don't fake it. If something is "in style" but it isn't YOU, don't wear it! Sacrificing your personal taste for popular style is a mistake. You will look like you are trying too hard, or if you pull it off- you will project a false image of yourself. There is nothing wrong with being a jeans and T-shirt guy if you are one. Your clothes should fit your personality, never the other way around.
~~~Personality/Mannerisms~~~
Chivalry and Manners -
Confidence - Show it!
People prize confidence highly, and everyone has some, even if you don't feel it all the time. Know your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Be proud of your strengths and in knowing that your weaknesses do not detract from your self worth. Show your self-assuredness in the way you walk, with good posture. Keep your head up and your eyes forward looking ahead, or making eye contact, instead of at the ground, or looking down and talking to someone’s nose(or worse).
Ego - Don't overdo it.
Confidence is a very good thing. But when your self-worth gets out of hand, it can turn into cockiness and that is not good. Keep a balance grounded. Don't show off too much or seem over-confidant. People can tell the difference. It makes you look like a jerk, and nobody likes a jerk.
Emotions -
Things you believe, your morals, feelings and interests should never change for anyone but you. It will do you no good to meet and deal with other people behind pretenses. If you can't be 100% you 100% of the time, that's okay [in fact, it's normal]. But when appropriate, express yourself, talk about things you enjoy. You can connect more genuinely with people by being you, and they will like you for who you really are- consequently you will be able to do more things you enjoy with like-minded people.
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Tips
No real man is a pervert. Perverts are another steriotype; real men can control their urges for sexual thoughts. Real men think clean approprite clean thoughts; not sexual thoughts. It is easy to be a pervert but hard to think clean thought and have a clean mind. Real men can obstain from a dirty mind. A clean mind is as much a choice as much of a choice as your favorite foods. Sex is great in the bedroom; but not as away of thought. In fact a clean mind may just enhance the bedroom experience; by displacing sex from your mind to that special time; sound nasty but thats the nicest way to put it.
Not all men want relationships. Not everyone has a soul mate. If you are a bachelor for life will want to avoid the "sad single steriotype"; not all bachelors are sad or angry: in fact some are extremely happy. This is a steriotypes that are also well known and abused. The sad single steriotype is a lie; enjoy the perks of being simgle if you choose to do so. This requires ignoring the pressure of antaginizers to marry and if necessary ignoring the antagonizer as a whole. True couples will be polite and let you decide for yourself. Treat couples like you would yourself; with respect. Never push somebody else into your prospective; that is just as bad as pressuring someone else to get a girlfriend.
You don't have to have a "perfect" body. If your personality is bangin', and you are _healthy_ then you will attract people who like you for you- and that is better than attracting someone for bulging biceps that take constant upkeep- that you didn't really want in the first place.
You can eat better without changing too much. Most fast food places offer healthier choices and although they aren't the best- a McSalad beats a greasy burger. Unless you are going for major weight loss [40lbs or more], you can still drink beer and soda and enjoy a good cookout. Just lessen the amount or frequency of these not-so-good-for-yous, increase your activity and you'll be fine.
If you are overweight by a larger amount [40lbs or more], talk to a health professional or dietitian and determine what diet/exercise ratio would work best for your personal body chemistry and lifestyle rather than taking wonder-drugs or Seen-On-TV diet plans. You can go it alone, but I suggest staying away from most drugs and advertised diet plans since they usually do more harm than good. Lots of research online in advance can pay off later in practice.
Mineral crystal type a-p/deodorants work well and last a long time. You can find it in most grocery and Wal-Mart type stores- it runs high priced [$7-$10] for a-p/deodorant, but is a better deal in the long run as it does not run out for a year.
There are many whitening products out there for your teeth, ask a dentist which is right for you. Don't do many whitening regiments at one time- the chemicals involved can actually wear away the enamel of your teeth, making them more susceptible to pain and problems.
Try to wash your clothes soon after working out, or sweating hard so they don't stain. Or if that's not realistic for you, wear an undershirt to prevent getting those unattractive white sweat-stains. If you work out regularly, get a shirt specifically for that so it doesn't matter if it gets sweat stained.
Sometimes, earlier in relationships, some emotions may be a little overkill- You wouldn't want your date to pour out their life-sob-story over the linguine on the first day you meet, would you? Share your deeper emotions and feelings once you feel truly comfortable with the person.
It's not generally appropriate to talk about kinky porn at the office... But in the bedroom, you might find your interests are met with full enthusiasm- and you will be glad you were so honest... Also, it is much less stress to only have to remember things you are truly interested in. Pretending takes a lot of effort- and it's never worth it.
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Warnings
If you want to gain muscle- stay away from steroids, whatever you do. Nothing good comes of them. Your muscles can explode [almost literally], it causes negative emotional and personality changes, and does nothing but bad to your sex life. Do it yourself- you'll be safer, healthier, and more proud that way.
Risk the temptation to use these new found mannerisms for evil... If you are a jerk who only wants to sleep with someone or get their money- there are plenty of people who are looking for that just like you. Don't fake a good personality just to get what you want from unsuspecting good people.. Not that it's harmful to -you- [your Karma maybe..] but it makes you a bad person and who wants to be a bad person, really? Promiscuity can however lead to the spread of lots of icky and very avoidable STD's. Wouldn't you rather spend your energy actually becoming a better person- rather than pretending to be one?
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Personal interaction tips: how to look more macho or masculine
Some men have trouble appearing macho or masculine. Some suggestions for looking manly include being assertive, making a good first impression, and being well-mannered.
Some men have a difficult time projecting a manly and masculine image because they are insecure about themselves. Try some of these tips for being a macho man:
BE CHIVALRIST
Manners are masculine, believe it or not. Ladies(for ur guy too if ur gay) love to see a gentleman – it makes a great impression. It is not too old-fashioned to open the car door, bring flowers for your date, pay for dinner, or abide by the “ladies first” law. In fact, if you think chivalry is dead, then women are likely to find you immature and unappealing, and those are definitely not macho or masculine qualities. Maturity is very attractive. If you treat a lady right, she will feel like you know how to take care of yourself and her, and she will feel more feminine, which in turns makes you look manlier.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
First impressions are important. If you want to look masculine, then always meet new people with a firm handshake. Speak loudly and clearly, and make sure that you introduce yourself by stating your full name. You will project a masculine image by being bold, and not timid, when you meet people. To make yourself look macho, dress the part. When people first meet you, you want them to think you are macho looking, and clothes make the man. Wear a bold solid colored shirt, such as red or royal blue. If you have muscles, then a tight-fitting t-shirt is the way to go, paired with a pair of fitted and faded boot-cut jeans. If you don’t have the muscles to pull off one of those t-shirts, go with a button-down collared shirt, with a pair of khaki pants without pleats. Wear cologne with a woody scent. Keep your hair neat and out of your face. If you have hair in your eyes, you will look shy, and that is not a trait of a macho man.
POSTURE AND BODY LANGUAGE
Body language can speak every bit as loudly as words, so be conscious of what your body is telling people. If you stand with your arms crossed in front of you, you look scared and unapproachable, unsure of yourself. If you have your arms down at your sides, you are open and confident – very masculine. Stand up straight, like a proud soldier, and keep your shoulders back. If you are slouching and your shoulders are folding inwards, you will look boyish and depressing. Maintain your eye contact when you are talking to someone. If you are constantly diverting your gaze, you will seem uncomfortable and awkward. Macho men don’t cross their legs, either. Sit with your legs on the floor, grounded.
BE CONFIDENT
Confidence is the number one staple of a macho or masculine man. Never put yourself down or talk about your weaknesses when you are trying to look macho. Be bold and sure of yourself. However, do not cross the line from confidence into arrogance. You should never put other people down because when you do that, you just seem jealous and insecure. You have to be optimistic and positive about yourself – your talents, your appearance, and your masculinity. Don’t be afraid to approach women, for example. Just go for it. Be sure of yourself, and others will believe in you and want to get to know you.
BE ASSERTIVE
Macho men aren’t afraid to speak their mind. If you have something to add to a conversation, don’t hesitate to interject a point. If you want to get a promotion, then perform well and be assertive enough to approach your boss about your ambitions. If you want to ask a woman out, don’t let your fear of rejection stop you from picking up the telephone. You have to be the creator of your own destiny. Masculine men know how important it is to take the bull by the horns.
How to Become More Masculine when Feminine
Becoming more masculine (women-->men) takes some ingenuity, but it can be done, whether you want to transition or just like playing with gender!
1 Look at yourself in a full length mirror. (You don't have to be naked to do this.) Think about your body. Figure out what aspects of your body need to be played up or down in order to pass.
2 For fuller chested folks who want to pass, very loose shirts help, as does a tank top. A lot of folks wear those these days. It gives you a good contour, and is much more comfortable than wearing Ace Bandages. If you're smaller chested, jerseys and hoodies are excellent clothing choices!
3 Hair: hair is really a cultural matter. Some folks recommend a short business cut, but look through some magazines first and try to pick a cut that matches your face. Be careful...a haircut too short can emphasize feminine features instead of play them down!
4 Clothes: Simple colors, nothing too flashy. Solids are good. Don't try to match your clothing too much, unless it's business wear. Sometimes passing is helped by simply taking advantage of women's naturally low expectations for men's fashion sense
5 Watches: Get a men's watch, but try them on first! You don't want a large men's watch...it will draw more attention to the fact that your wrist is small, which makes folks look at the rest of you more carefully. Plus, really big watches look tacky.
6 Start shaving: It's easier to pass if you appear completely clean-shaven.
7 Mannerisms: Don't think too much about these, because when you're passing as a man, you still need to be you! Only include the really important ones.
8 Bathrooms: The first time you go into a men's room, do not wrinkle your nose in disgust at how filthy it is. Walk in confidently, not looking at anyone else, and head right into a stall. Just sit down and do your thing. Don't worry, plenty of guys who were born that way are what's called "urine-shy" and always use stalls. It's no big deal. If you have to wait for a stall, men do not chat while they wait like women do.
9 Sidewalks: Women move out of men's way on the sidewalks. Go to a high traffic area and watch people. Men walk forward, head up, and women move out of their way. You want to learn this anyway, because as you get better at passing, women react like you're targeting them if you try to step out of their way. If you and a woman end up bumping into each other because she can't read you, stop and say "excuse me, miss" and keep going. No apologies or long-winded discussions.
10 Manners: Learn the old fashioned ones. Hold open doors for women, let them get off/on elevators, busses, etc first. Brush up on all the old school guy things that guys used to do and do them. If a woman is uncertain about your gender, these kind of things are "cultural flags" of maleness that will convince her. Plus, you get a few smiles out of the whole thing. And that's nice. One of the bummers about passing full time is that women stop being nice to you. So enjoy the positive attention when it's there.
11 Don't let work or school slide. Just because you're acting manly doesn't mean act dumb. Act as intelligent as you are, no more no less.
12 You're not going to learn all the subtle rules of social interaction as a male right away, so when women doubt your gender presentation, take advantage of sexism. Some women seem threatened by a really talkative, emotional, responsive kind of guy. Society has taught them that talkative men want something, usually of a sexual nature. If they start to wonder about you (you'll know by the looks on their faces when it happens), simply smile big, say something like "girlfriend, please" or any other stereotypically gay phrase appropriate to the moment, and for good measure, throw in the limp wrist or swish a bit when you walk away. See, American society has programmed people to think of gay men as being very much like women, so when you do this, women know "where to put you" and will relax around you almost immediately. Your personal safety has to be taken into account before you decide to do this.
13 Your room or house says alot adout who you are. Men don't have Hello-Kitty wallpaper, rugs, bedding ext. So get rid of this stuff any way you can, donate it, give it to a yong relitive, or just sell is and make a few bucks. Now that the girly stuff is out, start decorating, try to make it look like you didn't put alot of effert into it. Camo is always an option.
14 Don't worry about others' opinions- what other people think of you is not anything to be extremely concerned about. Many people may assume that constantly worrying over others' opinions on themselves and trying to make everyone like them more is the key to seeming superior, but it is not. Many times, both girls and guys will mistakenly act nonchalant about school and work and seem like they are too bored to truly care about the tasks they need to complete in every day life. Truthfully, you must make sure that if this is a negative trait in your character, which will be explained in steps later on, try your hardest to eliminate it from your mind frame. Acting this way gives off the image of low intelligence, or detesting school work and work in general. To others, it makes them often feel that you, or others who do this, are stuck-up, snobby, uncaring about academics and work, or all three. You do not want that image
Body Image and our Self-Esteem
I'm fat. I'm too skinny. I'd be happy if I were taller, shorter, had curly hair, straight hair, a smaller nose, bigger muscles, longer legs. Someones form our minds are our hips are too bigs for guy, we are too small or too little to be a guy...
Do any of these statements sound familiar? Are you used to putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through a ton of changes in your body. And as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. Lots of people have trouble adjusting, and this can affect their self-esteem.
Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?
Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect how you act. A person who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will enjoy life more.
Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance.
For many people, especially those in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to self-esteem. That's because as kids develop into teens, they care more about how others see them.
What Influences a Person's Self-Esteem?
Puberty
Some teens struggle with their self-esteem when they begin puberty because the body goes through many changes. These changes, combined with a natural desire to feel accepted, mean it can be tempting for people to compare themselves with others. They may compare themselves with the people around them or with actors and celebs they see on TV, in movies, or in magazines.
But it's impossible to measure ourselves against others because the changes that come with puberty are different for everyone. Some people start developing early; others are late bloomers. Some get a temporary layer of fat to prepare for a growth spurt, others fill out permanently, and others feel like they stay skinny no matter how much they eat. It all depends on how our genes have programmed our bodies to act.
The changes that come with puberty can affect how both girls and guys feel about themselves. Some girls may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about their maturing bodies. Others may wish that they were developing faster. Girls may feel pressure to be thin but guys may feel like they don't look big or muscular enough.
Outside Influences
It's not just development that affects self-esteem, though. Many other factors (like media images of skinny girls and bulked-up guys) can affect a person's body image too.
Family life can sometimes influence self-esteem. Some parents spend more time criticizing their kids and the way they look than praising them, which can reduce kids' ability to develop good self-esteem.
People also may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look from classmates and peers. Sometimes racial and ethnic prejudice is the source of such comments. Although these often come from ignorance, sometimes they can affect someone's body image and self-esteem
Healthy Self-Esteem
If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are. This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing up, such as developing good friendships, growing more independent from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally. Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem.
A positive, optimistic attitude can help people develop strong self-esteem — for example, saying, "Hey, I'm human" instead of "Wow, I'm such a loser" when you've made a mistake, or not blaming others when things don't go as expected.
Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination for building good self-esteem.
Tips for Improving Your Body Image
Some people think they need to change how they look or act to feel good about themselves. But actually all you need to do is change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself.
The first thing to do is recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape, size, or color it comes in. If you're very worried about your weight or size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it's no one's business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you have to be happy with yourself.
Next, identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can't. Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming celeb) has things about themselves that they can't change and need to accept — like their height, for example, or their shoe size.
If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can (such as how fit you are), do this by making goals for yourself. For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat nutritious foods. Then keep track of your progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!
When you hear negative comments coming from within yourself, tell yourself to stop. Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. While you're at it, every evening list three things in your day that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on your face, the sound of your favorite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.
Where Can I Go if I Need Help?
Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle alone. A few teens may become depressed, lose interest in activities or friends — and even hurt themselves or resort to alcohol or drug abuse.
If you're feeling this way, it can help to talk to a parent, coach, religious leader, guidance counselor, therapist, or an adult friend. A trusted adult — someone who supports you and doesn't bring you down — can help you put your body image in perspective and give you positive feedback about your body, your skills, and your abilities.
If you can't turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (check the yellow pages under social services or search online). The most important thing is to get help if you feel like your body image and self-esteem are affecting your life.